My life is mirroring a bad Jon and Kate + 8 episode

Wow... it's been a long time since I've posted anything. I am still on the road traveling for my new job. I've put roughly 10,000 miles on my car since June.

Unfortunately, things aren't so good as my title infers.

On August 22, my husband told me he wants a divorce. Since I've been away, he realized that he has no intentions of moving, loves the job he has and does not have the same feelings for me anymore.

I was devastated. I still am. We've been separated since then. He has not made anything official but I can only assume it'll be a matter of time before that happens. I've been staying with family and making only the occasional trip to the gabled ell for marriage counseling and to check up on things.

It's bad when you're homesick and you have no real home to go to.

Many people will say, "why don't you just quit your job and move home to work on your marriage?" Believe me, I've offered to quit and it's just not that simple. Our issues are deeper than our jobs.

I'm hoping that things will change but I've seen no real change since August. It's so sad that people aren't willing to stick to the vows of marriage when times get tough.

We're a nation of quiters.

From the truck stop hotel

I'm in another hotel again. This one is um.... heavily used. It's not exactly dirty but it's seen better days. The best part, I have a lovely view of the truck stop from my hotel room. Next week I'm going to the hotel I stayed in last week even thought it's a few more miles from the office. 

One of the nice things about being in constant travel status is that the office where I'm currently stationed is only 20 minutes from my grandpa's. My grandpa lives alone and will be 91 in August. For years I've had tremendous guilt over the fact that I only get to see him twice a year because he lives 2 hours from my parents and 3 hours from my house (yes my family is all scattered throughout Ohio and Indiana). Since I will be in this office for the next 6 weeks, I've been able to visit my grandpa each week. 

My grandpa gets confused at times but enjoys telling stories from when he and my grandma were newlyweds. It's been kind of interesting to hear these stories. Tonight he told me about their honeymoon to Niagara Falls, how their car overheated and my grandma freaked out thinking the car would catch on fire. 

A few of the stories are the same from the week before. Other stories involve people who have passed away years ago that I never met. However, I truly cherish these times we get to spend together and I know my grandpa enjoys the company. 

Who knows what stories I'll hear next week. 

Please explain

Sorry this post is probably going to be a long one. I need to vent. 

I think I should preface this story to give a little background information. Since I've started my new job, my husband has worked out an arrangement with one of his employees, who is a college student and only works during the summer, to come to our house and let Baxter out while he's still at work. This has worked out wonderfully since my husband works long hours. I was very worried that Baxter would be spending a lot of time alone in his crate since I would be away during the week. 

Our "dog sitter" has been awesome. Not only has she made several trips to our house to let him out but she has taken him to the park and also spends time with my cat. They're both getting the royal treatment! She really enjoys Baxter. And she's been doing this for free. Although my husband and I will eventually compensate her for her time. 

Let me also say that my husband is a pushover. He will say yes or agree to things that aren't always in his best interest or easiest for him to do. It's a quality that sometimes drives me up the wall. 

So let me tell you about the events of last night. 

We got home at about 7:30 after retrieving Baxter from his grooming. The little guy was wiped out from the 3 hour ordeal. At about 9:30 my husband gets a phone call. Here's what transpired: 

Husband: "Hey that was Emily (our dog sitter). She wants to take Baxter over to Andy's apartment (also a friend of ours) tonight."

Me: "What? Why?"

Husband: "I don't know. I guess she's bored and I don't think Andy's ever met Baxter."

Me: "But we're both home. It's not like we need her to watch him. Is she coming now?"

Right then there's a knock at our back door and in walks Emily and two of her friends. 

Husband: "What are you guys up to tonight?"

Emily: "We're going over to Andy's apartment to watch a movie." 

Discussion of the movie occurs, who is going to be there, and petting of the dog. 

Friend 1: "Does Andy's apartment allow pets? I know my apartment lease has a clause in it that states that even pets who are visiting can get you evicted." 

Emily: "I don't think he's allowed to have pets but no one else lives in his apartment building at the moment." 

Friend 2: "Emily, you need to get a dog." 

More discussion of Baxter and their movie night occur. I am quietly taking it all in unable to talk because I'm so shocked that these people are going to take our dog to an apartment that may or may not allow pets for the next 2 or more hours. 

Friend 1 quietly says: "We don't have to take their dog, Emily." I could tell he felt a little awkward about the situation. 

After a little more petting of the dog they left without taking Baxter. Thank goodness Friend 1 said something! 

After they left, I turned to my husband. 

Me: "Did you think that was odd?"

Husband: "No. Why?"

Me: "You didn't find it odd that they were going to take our dog while we were both at home?"

Husband: "No. Emily asked me on the phone if we wanted to go over to Andy's. I told her no because I have no desire to go anywhere tonight." 

Me: "Yeah, but why did you tell her she could take Baxter?"

Husband: "I didn't think anything of it." 

Me: "Well I don't think it's cool. Especially since I only get to see Baxter 2 days a week! You're going to tell someone to go ahead and take him when I only get to see him twice a week!" At this point I'm fighting back tears, which upsets me more since I'm in tears over a dog!

Husband: "Oh. I didn't think of it that way. I'm so sorry." 

So am I overreacting? Would you find this situation odd too? I'm glad Emily enjoys our dog and loves to spend time with him but I think she needs to realize that he's OUR dog. What would you have done in this situation? 

Am I crazy? Wait... don't answer that. 

One week down

I survived my first week of my new job. Even though it was only a week, I'm really loving it. The people are really friendly and professional. I was worried that I would get homesick since I'll be living out of a hotel for the next several weeks, but I was so busy that I really didn't have time to think about home. Hopefully that will continue. 

On my way to the state office last Monday, I passed my dad and uncle on the road. It was cool  to stop and chat with them on the road before I went on to work. I haven't had that opportunity for the last 6 years since I've been living in Indiana. 

Right now I'm sitting out on the patio at home working on my sunburn. Baxter is also sunbathing. Soon I'll have to head inside and repack for next week. 

The only downfall to coming home was that our dryer broke. My husband was doing a load of laundry on Wednesday and said the dryer made a loud pop and then stopped. From his estimates a belt broke. We have yet to get it fixed. Meanwhile, I had to take my wet clothes to the laundromat to dry. 

I don't know about you guys but I HATE the laundromat. They seem to be crawling with weird people who enjoy watching your underwear turn in the washers and dryers. I'm also worried that they'll steal my clothes if I don't get to them in time.

Maybe the reason I hate the place so much is because when I was little my mom had to go the laundromat a few times when our washer and dryer broke. While there, I developed a friendship with girl about my age whose parents owned the place. A few days later I came down with Scarlet Fever. The little girl at the laundromat had a "cold" that resembled all of the symptoms of Scarlet Fever. 

Here's hoping next weekend we'll have a dryer that works!

I lived with hippies

During the last semester of my senior year in college, I lived with 2 full fledged hippies. If you knew me you would know that I am far from a hippie. Farm girl yes. Hippie no. 

I took a few summer courses after my junior year that allowed me to graduate a semester early from college. This put me in an awkward situation when it came to apartment searches. I was looking for a 6 month lease and possibly a few roommates to split the bill. 

Enter the hippies. I met these two girls through friends of a friend. They too were looking for a short term lease. Bonus, they had already found a cheap apartment. So I met these girls, viewed the apartment and signed the lease on the same day. I was that desperate for a place to stay. Did I mention it was cheap? 

The apartment was very small and we all shared one bathroom. But for 6 months, I figured I would make it.  And it turned out that the hippies were very nice but still had a lot of hippie oddities. 

Several times a week I would come home to find my one roommate asleep on the couch at about 4:30 PM. I would make dinner, study, watch TV, go to bed, get ready for class the next morning and she would still be in the same spot on the couch sound asleep. 

My other roommate invited her parents and younger brother to visit one weekend. To my surprise, a "weekend" meant 5 days. Besides that, they all stayed in the apartment with us. Six people were sharing one bathroom for 5 days. Total chaos!

My roommates enjoyed hiking, kayaking, white water rafting, snowboarding, camping, and anything else outdoor related. They recycled, were vegetarians, drank soy milk (this was before it was popular), made homemade dehydrated foods for camping trips, and talked about making their own feminine hygiene products. 

I made it through the 6 months and boy was it an eye opening experience. I learned a lot about how to become a hippie. Needless to say, it's not exactly the lifestyle for me. 

What's blooming

Here's another sampling of what's blooming in our yard. 

I found this hidden bloom the other day. I have no idea what it is and I'm pretty sure it didn't bloom last year. Although I remember seeing the white and green edged leaves in the flower bed last summer. Any ideas?

I'm not sure what this flower is. It reminds me of Queen Ann's Lace but the leaves don't match. 

I had a bush full of blooms for this pretty hot pink flower. However, the rabbits must find this plant a delicacy because the following day I noticed all of the bloom were snipped off minus this lonely flower. 

This is probably my favorite. It's a Giant Allium (aka Giant Onion). I planted the bulbs 2 years ago. Too bad I probably won't be here to see them reach their full potential. The flowering part can get as big as a soccer ball. 

I planted these pretty blue flowers in a few of our pots around the house. Can't remember their name but they're quite vibrant. 

These aren't from my yard. One of my retired coworkers dropped by the other day to give me this bouquet of carnations to congratulate me on my new job. 

Baxter wants you to join him on the patio. Bring a dog biscuit. 

More about babies

Let me first say, no I am not pregnant. That's not happening here for quite a while. Besides, I already mentioned my fear of newborns. 

Lately I've noticed an increase of pregnant ladies or ladies with infants. I don't know what's in the water around here but I hope I'm not drinking any of it. 

I've also noticed that a lot of these pregnant ladies are young unwed mothers (not that there is anything wrong with that. I understand it's their life and they can live it as they please). What's interesting is that these young ladies tackle pregnancy, motherhood, and sometimes caring for a child alone with ease. It's like one night they have a few too many Coors Light and wake up the next morning with a bun in the oven and they move right along with their life. 

If that were to happen to me now, I would freak out and have a panic attack that would most likely land me in a hospital run by the state. Even if I think about children, my heart starts racing and I quickly calculate in my head how much time I could take off work and still get paid (which is total crap that employers are not required to give you PAID maternity/paternity leave). Then I panic about affording adequate childcare and all the other expenses that come with raising children. 

I think of my sister-in-law who is desperately trying to get pregnant. She has been married to my brother for almost 6 years, both have steady good jobs and have a wonderful house that they worked hard to get. They would make excellent parents, yet they haven't been able to conceive. 

I don't mean to upset anyone by this post. I think the world of mothers and single mothers. They have a tough job. Quite frankly I don't know if I'm cut out for that job... at least not yet!